Only little tough day makes tomorrow better and happier.

Lately I met myself where being weak and worrying never changes everything, because irrespective of anything, everyone is subject to rough days. Neither me nor you can skip, quit or do magic to avoid all this battles of life, because the path of life is just made in one direction. Sun and stars in the sky also don’t show always, sometime’s cloud rules, that’s why the law is comparatively similar on this earth to everything.

I walked a long journey of my life, encounter with so many battles with different degree of toughness, where sometime’s I win, where sometime’s I lose, where sometimes I get carried away with all this heavy weight of suffer and worries, but what I discovered to myself lately was there is nothing call winning or losing or getting carried away, it’s all that we made to ourselves, it’s basically us who give us most of the difficult time’s. That is why; it’s just us, your own self that creates the whole surrounding around you.  We travel here and there, walk so many paths but the entire road is just one way- moving forward and on this road, nobody see the success right in front, neither resolve every complicated situation that arouses then and there, that’s why it’s all those little troubles, a battles, a worries or whatever poison that kills you is the ultimate door to a good time’s.

Being weak never help, rather it weakens you further, worrying too much never changes rather it wears you like the canines that tear off everything, so in order to fight any battle of life, we really don’t need all those sophisticated tools, we really don’t need all those inborn intelligence, we really don’t need a physical strength, so the answer to the question of what we really need is;

Yeah ,People are born with different view and perspectives,  with seed sown on the plate of their mind which they interpret differently, and may be they have their own answer to the above, or maybe they haven’t yet known or in way of searching just like I was before. So to me what I really discovered to myself was, a hero is an ordinary individual who knows how to battle well, how to handle the situation without worrying too much, and of all that little courage that makes a strength and energy to battle. You know, no one has born and died without facing the troubles, it’s that entire little rough situation, an experience that makes a courage, strength, and unbeatable energy in hero. Being weak doesn't change, until you learn to be courageous and endure every worst time.

In the womb of cliche days

Waking up with each dawn break;

Walking the road given,

Working the with task you're responsible of,

Walk of life is all the same most of the time.

It’s tiresome and bored.

Exhausted and monotonous,

Tired and uninspired,

Waiting for that someday to be “energetic and young”

But in that womb of repeated cycle,

Do you ever come across, when you meet whole of yourself? When you meet whole of the surrounding that you live with?

I did, not so long and discovered, ‘people can’t be really defined” with whole sort of multidimensional, complex, complicated build up ideas, feeling’s, instinct founded with every bit bricks on the body and  in heart.

Growing up in my eye

I wish to photograph all the troubles that come by the journey of life, so there by I could edit all the stories like the novelist, like a mason where I can dressed the wall with all my styles of variety of stones, like the chef where I can cook the dishes of my taste so that it becomes the sum of all the parts that people usually call “beauty and perfect” like the beautiful rainbow in the light rain. 

Right at this moment, seriously I don’t know what I am doing right now, I don’t know what I want to do, and what I am suppose to do but still I am awake like an insomniac. I am right here as always sitting on my old chair, with the laptop on the desk with the flooded thoughts on; ‘what really is the purpose of life?’ in fact there must be hell lot of reasons but there is no single thing that I could really get it.

Searching, fighting and  trying to live a life that is given to us,  everyone struggles through the series of battles and most people whenever they saw a person battling irrespective of the blood relations, either the first or last word would be “that’s a life” “this is a life” “this is a how it works” and indeed for a few time’s I did use it to few, but lately I found it’s a little strange, because it’s never easy to adjust with whatever life throw upon us when sometime it’s off the shoulder, that’s why the war become worst  and suffered pain has lots of wounds with the thousands of story to tell.

When I was a kid living under the shell of lovely mom and dad, I use to think everything is just wonderful, life filled with joys and wonders, because all problems was solved before it comes to me, everything I wish was granted and it was one of those beautiful moments of life. I really do cherish always and sometime’s when the sky gets rough, I just wish to get back to those days and never want to grow because even if growing up physically is easy,  growing up with the life that throws upon is never easy as it use to be.  I don’t know if I am doing the right thing that I wanted to do for the best of my life, best of my loved ones and to the country that I have to serve, as usually I found myself getting lonelier each days inside, the works that I have to do is most of the time forgotten and sometimes I don’t know what I am potent of?  Seriously, sometimes I feel like I am forgetting to live the life, the purpose of life and my works.  I don’t know if you all feel the same but there’re sometime’s a certain stage where your day starts and end’s without doing nothing, totally doing nothing at all.

 The time in life keep slipping by yet I didn't discovered what I really wanted to be? Though by my profession that I am taking, I would be a pharmacist, but again I wonder, if it would be the best of me that I love, because “being in love” with everything is the true solution to every obstacles. Sometimes I am afraid if the life is always in this way, because what I witness in life is, so many people struggles doing work, struggle battling each day trying to survive and haven’t seen one doing work with love and will , though at the end survival is must. This is the point when I come to compare the same thing with them, because thousandths face a battle not just because they are forced too, but due to the choices and will, the affection and chemistry in whatever we do. I think if there is a will and love, everything becomes fairer or my whole of build up thought’s. But if it’s my build up thought’s I wonder sometime’s why sometime’s day ended doing nothing, though there is hell lot to shoulder.

a question of "Do i really have the enough experience or acquire the thing that i need what i am doing? and if i am fueling to grow bigger? worries me each night, yet i couldn't do any better.