FADED WEAPON.

‘ I hate distance and will do now and forever……….’

With those clench knots in belly,  with those frozen bite on four chambered walled organ,  I could exactly picture her long breath of inhale through those cold crisped lips in reference to her thirst of seeing me.  Suddenly I was limited with words, words lesser than it could complete a sentence. I was frozen not knowing what even to tell to make her believe in reality  and to make her feel good.

Since two years eleven month, beginning 13^th of January when we fall for each other, due to our individual responsibilities of life to shoulder, we have been almost all the time faraway from each other and yet we kept moving despite hundreds of barriers hoping some day would come to take us to a place;     when distance fades, when  we can find each others hand and back, when time show on us to spend every day through joys and laughter. 

Along this journey of twist and turns,waiting's and endurance, harsh and sweet, no matter how challenges find us,  we dust off those which eat our harmony keeping faith in miracle that life give and with our infinite affections for each other.  I admit, Having her in my life is one biggest god gift that I receive and dream come true.

Here is an another story of battle.

She is a innocent sweet lady, spiritually and intellectually gifted woman,  bright and  beautiful. She basically do possess every art that I could call “perfect”.

To see bitter in her face, to see her hurt, to see her through floating waves of blues has always make  me cold. As a girl, her make up of mind is just similar to the rest of females,  who worries, who land up getting tensed,  whose heart is so fragile and sensitive.  Sometime, she land up getting her mind poisoned with those challenges and would share me all those troubles that would pinch me. Most of the time, being faraway, the only weapon that I got would be always my sweetened words of inspirations and support, In fact it would be too insufficient for a sinking heart.

Today on 13^th of December, our love counts to two years eleven month. As usual we were on social app sharing and exchanging stories of what has happened in a day. Through the course, she messaged me  “i wish, you’re here with me on this new year eve. I miss you so much that I hate this distance as always now and forever”  

I was frozen cold upon reading,  it wasn’t a fear of what I can’t do but a sweet pain of not giving her the best what she deserve.  I was limited to words, words lesser than it could complete a word.  Most of the time,  I would always find a word to make her feel good and energetic and moreover she believes so much that I always feel blessed  giving her whole to me. 

Today, even all those  sincere  and genuine words that I use as a weapon when far, has also dried up when I see her sinking heart of so much misses and need.