Locked in deep thought and sorrow.
Have you ever thought of where the greatest prison is? he
questioned me.
The question took me off even from the walls of my
imagination, thinking what actually he was trying to say and myself trying hard
to answer him, because I knew, those weary eyes, tired soul isn’t questioning
me about the real prison that keep criminals and moreover he has never opened
up himself until that day.
Silence has starting growing deep, deeper than those pacific and Instead of answering to what he queried,
I was stuck watching him and his heavy head. Seriously I didn’t know how to
respond to such situation and by then at least clearing my throat, I tried
speaking; why such question suddenly and
I told him I guess I don’t know what actually the answer is, but I guess I can
help you find the answer.
Silence ruled us for couple of minutes and at last, he clear
his throat, breathing heavily with those tears holding in his eyes and share me
the story to the question.
“Two years, nine
month ago I has fallen into love so deep and still this feeling has never
outgrow and I know it will never. You know,
13th of January 2013, I met a beautiful lady, beautiful in
physique, beautiful in thoughts, beautiful In everything, the sum of all part
was just undefinable beauty that make me fall so intensely and unconditionally.
That was the time, that I saw the heaven, the beauty of life. Seriously, I have never been happy to such
height, indeed I was lucky to fall in love and to be loved in return by a women
whom you love head to toe. Our relation was very strongly cemented within those
hundred of days and night, and each following morning I just fall for her
helplessly again and again, and I knew without her nothing makes sense. You know It’s a time when you see a light of
life and you can’t live without it.” He breath heavily like going through the
toughest of war in life and told me “ Love is so magical and powerful”
Then he continued after a minute with heavy exhale of suffocated
air from lung’s and said; “ But I didn’t knew those time of troubles will come,
I didn’t knew those times of struggles will come, I didn’t knew worst will rule us.” I interrupted him and asked, did you
guys broke up? He smile and said, “no bro,
just a terrible situation, I don’t know how to even put into a proper sentence.
Actually I have been wondering for couples of month and still I don’t get an
answer to what I search. You know, I
have did all the best that I could effort even beyond my capacity,but somehow a
terrible situation popped in out of no where and that took me into this
terrible time. I still don’t know the problem behind, I still don’t know the
reason behind, but she look so unhappy and this hurts me terribly. I thought, she is going through all this hard times just because of
‘distance’, as most of the time I cant
reach to help her when she is in extreme need, not being able to support her
when about to fall but I did at least the best that I could do, but it look so
insufficient and looking through the problem arising right now, I feel distance
is not an answer.”
Later after a sip of water he continued; “ lately I am going through some terrible
situation, where I am like in desert ‘lost and never found’. I don’t know what
I have to do. I don’t know how I have to respond. Time has started treating me
so badly. Being in distance relationship, most of the time I use to keep in
touch with her through Facebook, we-chat and Watsapp and no matter what problem
arises, I am always the first person to
tell sorry and to beg for solving things to make it better, because I can’t
really lose her. Losing her would mean so bad that time won’t even heal those
traumatic sorrows. And as always, this
days also, I have been always messaging her every morning, day and night just
searching for the opportunity to make conversation and to make things better,
but she has live completely with silence. I waited so long thinking time will
find us someday, but things started worsening.
You know after long time, I saw notification on my mobile phone and it
was her message on Watsapp, I was very happy and relieve indeed, but to my
notice she messaged me with a sentence “you don’t have to, I am no more your
belonging” in response to my long message that reads –
‘Dear, its been long time you have been with silence. I
really don’t know why you are treating me this way, but I need you to answer,
because I really can’t find charm in anything I do without you. Seriously I
miss you so terribly.’
And a minute later she has blocked me in all chat sites
after a little conversation that slip in
60 seconds. So less was a time.” He breath like air stuck in his chest after
sharing his trouble and finally said the answer to question that started the
story.
“The greatest prison I thought is in our mind, because I
don’t know what I am going to do. Yeah ,she told me to move on several times,
but I couldn’t even a single time. The moment of thoughts of losing her I get
frozen numb, I even can’t move on, because all of me is a hollow body without a
heart.”
I felt sorry for him and yeah tried speaking to make him feel
better for a while, by then it was already a new morning when we go to bed.
