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Thursday 15 October 2015

Locked in deep thought and sorrow.




Have you ever thought of where the greatest prison is? he questioned me.

The question took me off even from the walls of my imagination, thinking what actually he was trying to say and myself trying hard to answer him, because I knew, those weary eyes, tired soul isn’t questioning me about the real prison that keep criminals and moreover he has never opened up himself until that day.

Silence has starting growing deep, deeper than those pacific  and Instead of answering to what he queried, I was stuck watching him and his heavy head. Seriously I didn’t know how to respond to such situation and by then at least clearing my throat, I tried speaking;  why such question suddenly and I told him I guess I don’t know what actually the answer is, but I guess I can help you find the answer.

Silence ruled us for couple of minutes and at last, he clear his throat, breathing heavily with those tears holding in his eyes and share me the story to the question.
 “Two years, nine month ago I has fallen into love so deep and still this feeling has never outgrow and I know it will never. You know,  13th of January 2013, I met a beautiful lady, beautiful in physique, beautiful in thoughts, beautiful In everything, the sum of all part was just undefinable beauty that make me fall so intensely and unconditionally. That was the time, that I saw the heaven, the beauty of life.  Seriously, I have never been happy to such height, indeed I was lucky to fall in love and to be loved in return by a women whom you love head to toe. Our relation was very strongly cemented within those hundred of days and night, and each following morning I just fall for her helplessly again and again, and I knew without her nothing makes sense.  You know It’s a time when you see a light of life and you can’t live without it.” He breath heavily like going through the toughest of war in life and told me “ Love is so magical and powerful”

Then he continued after a minute with heavy exhale of suffocated air from lung’s and said; “ But I didn’t knew those time of troubles will come, I didn’t knew those times of struggles will come, I didn’t knew  worst will rule us.”       I interrupted him and asked, did you guys broke up?  He smile and said, “no bro, just a terrible situation, I don’t know how to even put into a proper sentence. Actually I have been wondering for couples of month and still I don’t get an answer to what I search.  You know, I have did all the best that I could effort even beyond my capacity,but somehow a terrible situation popped in out of no where and that took me into this terrible time. I still don’t know the problem behind, I still don’t know the reason behind, but she look so unhappy and this hurts me terribly.  I thought, she is going   through all this hard times just because of ‘distance’,  as most of the time I cant reach to help her when she is in extreme need, not being able to support her when about to fall but I did at least the best that I could do, but it look so insufficient and looking through the problem arising right now, I feel distance is not an answer.”

Later after a sip of water he continued;  “ lately I am going through some terrible situation, where I am like in desert ‘lost and never found’. I don’t know what I have to do. I don’t know how I have to respond. Time has started treating me so badly. Being in distance relationship, most of the time I use to keep in touch with her through Facebook, we-chat and Watsapp and no matter what problem arises, I am always  the first person to tell sorry and to beg for solving things to make it better, because I can’t really lose her. Losing her would mean so bad that time won’t even heal those traumatic sorrows.  And as always, this days also, I have been always messaging her every morning, day and night just searching for the opportunity to make conversation and to make things better, but she has live completely with silence. I waited so long thinking time will find us someday, but things started worsening.  You know after long time, I saw notification on my mobile phone and it was her message on Watsapp, I was very happy and relieve indeed, but to my notice she messaged me with a sentence “you don’t have to, I am no more your belonging” in response to my long message that reads –

‘Dear, its been long time you have been with silence. I really don’t know why you are treating me this way, but I need you to answer, because I really can’t find charm in anything I do without you. Seriously I miss you so terribly.’

And a minute later she has blocked me in all chat sites after a little conversation  that slip in 60 seconds. So less was a time.” He breath like air stuck in his chest after sharing his trouble and finally said the answer to question that started the story.

“The greatest prison I thought is in our mind, because I don’t know what I am going to do. Yeah ,she told me to move on several times, but I couldn’t even a single time. The moment of thoughts of losing her I get frozen numb, I even can’t move on, because all of me is a hollow body without a heart.”

I felt sorry for him and yeah tried speaking to make him feel better for a while, by then it was already a new morning when we go to bed.




9 comments:

  1. Nice post Tashi! Thank you for sharing!

    You are right! The greatest prison is our mind. And the one who can free the mind is none other than our own self.

    It's not easy to have long distance relationship. It needs trust and lots of commitment, but doesn't mean it's impossible. Many Bhutanese friends have to go through this, even after they get married and have kids.

    It is somehow a test of fate and destiny. Just remember, if it's yours, it's yours. If not, let it be. And by loving her, doesn't mean you have to own her. By loving her, you can set her free, as long as she is happy with her life. And yes, let go and move on with life. One more thing, everything happens for a reason. One day when you look back, you'll understand why it happens to you and you'll be grateful that it happens (be it good or bad).

    Take care and have a great weekend there! ^^

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    1. Yeah absolutely, everything happens for a reason just as you said la. but sometime's the hardest part is to letting go thing's when you're so much attached. anyway thanks for all those sweet words and in fact you have always been inspirational,
      take care la. have a good weekend too.

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    2. It happens to many of us. But if you realized, that's not love. That had changed into attachment. And it's not love that makes people suffer, but attachment.

      Like Roshan said, learn to appreciate yourself. In fact, learn to love yourself more. Wish you good luck and have a wonderful weekend! Take care! :)

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    3. It happens to many of us. But if you realized, that's not love. That had changed into attachment. And it's not love that makes people suffer, but attachment.

      Like Roshan said, learn to appreciate yourself. In fact, learn to love yourself more. Wish you good luck and have a wonderful weekend! Take care! :)

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  3. Distance love is challenging but it grows stronger if you develop personality and consistency
    Learn to appreciate yourself and your love
    Built commitment and give more loves than what she is expecting from you
    In short be hero with thousands hearts with single souls..acho la.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah you're right bro. but sometime's thing's are out of our hand which we really can't mend which left us in the estuary of sorrows.
      Welcome to blog. explore and experience the deeper part of world :)

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  4. Stay good n cheer up.
    Thank you... u all r m inspirational...bro
    I love writing
    By thoughts I m artist I often remark you...hahahaha..
    Da truth about meh is I love ur writing.

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    Replies
    1. heheh thanks bro and yeah don't forget ,u can also write beautiful even more. it's all that take to give yourself a time.

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