Otiose college days. 
( every coming day, it started always the same, waking up late, sleeping late, embracing my inner bird in this way, like there is no time for sleep the very next dawn.)                     

 In the half sleep rubbed my eyes,

Scratched porcupine like hairs fuzzily

And get up most days lazily,

Yet, on the bed several times sways.

With dawn moving away.

The usual day begins in the middle,

When everyone is half way bridged for day.

And it’s been always that way.

The day of all my lazy times

That never sublime.

            No matter how dark, light will always find through.              

   "The hard days, the struggling time has shown to us since a month ago and still it has never leave us from the feet, although not a hard work that involve strength to carry the heavy loads on the uphill sweating, but the stuffs associated with the feelings and mind is a total devastating at a time, when nothing get well and better, when nothing get changes, after every awaited time,waking up every morning with the new hopes."

I really don't know from when it began, when it started making us face hardship and see the frightful challenges, but yup it's been a real hard days at a time for a more than a month, however, we came by without losing hope, never getting devastated, never falling down when a situations keep us pulling and never failing being one, one as united and standing tall in this horrible situations , but still it's been always the same every morning and it's been one of the most awaited time for us.

I don't know, how my buddies replied and will reply, to the most asked question of every day, every time; how is everything? and yup i don't know too how they will describe, if asked to write " a living situation over a month till now"
To this very questions upon every greetings in the university with friends, senior, junior,teacher all around, the definite answer my mouth open to is , ya!i am doing great, trying with a hope inside and to look as if like moving better, but every night when i am about to doze off to sleep and looking back from the time i wake up till to time when i am about to sleep, i get myself question, am i really doing great as i answer always and came to discover that, it's never a been a great day for a month  but yap a good day to be better coined as. it's been almost all the day, a sort of lie i am living with myself and fighting hard to get start well.

To the very next question, it would be a little harder for me. because' in one way, i feel totally impressed, motivated and always standing with a hope along with my cheerful buddies and in another way, if i come by truth, a "broken" as word flash in my mind instinctively.
For this very long time, without never getting devastated, without even complaining, how much ever we're broken, we didn't give up. It's been a real hard time for us, more like we have missed a rain for thousand years, like we're totally dehydrated. But not even once, we felt despaired. because we know there is always a choice, there is always two sides to choose to fight for 2 quarts belly and for living and yup i realize lately that living as it sound simple, but it's not that as it look. it's every day a challenge that arrives to test us. In this span of time, i get to learn a lot, i got inspired and motivated myself, we as a friend didn't give up on none of us, rather we keep supporting each other, none of us tormented with a situation. Sometime's what we really need to keep moving is, we need to forget every bad thing's of a day, and to remember and cherish with a every best thing that happens, after all, life itself is a challenge and we never should loss our moment of time tormenting and getting devastated.

I  choose not to disclose what really 'hardship' is, and what we're struggling from, as i feel it's not really a good idea that i am thinking of, as i have number of reason's, reasons of reasons to explain and feel blessed how much distance and time we traveled together unanimously, because it's a hard thing, one of the hardest in the world to get people together mostly in the hard times.
Forget praising our selves, because we have much reasons to feel proud of. a reason, how we came through, a longest struggle in the broken time's without getting despair.
Still it is same over the past month, attending classes, struggling of our "hardship" which i choose not to disclose, and hoping each and every morning to get well and better, and in deed, i am never gonna feel so poor, so devastated, though a situation is because there are a huge reasons to fight for with numbers of my friends doing the same each day and night fighting for living and breathing.
Yup, i will wait standing tall, i will get up each morning strong, until god answer us for thy to every questions and struggle in life, there is a way to get through and to every sadness, there is a music that will sooth.

        She is the only one.

She smile gloriously in all times

Like a never fading memory.

So big an inspirational and energetic it is,

It gives me infinite blessing to keep moving.

She lean her cheek upon her hand,

Peacefully and lightly

So bright and cutely she shows,

It Saves day light for me, whenever I miss when it clouded,

Her peaceful eye's like blossoming lotus,

Unimaginably true make me feel so safe and take me to those beautiful future that I have never imagine,

Yet her hair falls down through cheek so flawlessly without her touch

Giving birth to glorious heaven in a imperfect world,

She is of all, whom I crave for out of millions,

She is and always will be my number one no matter what.

                                 Simple challenge; the sleepless night

Do we ever imagine within realm of on us, we’re also counted to be a challenge to one self?  Challenges are not always that comes by road, that usually fear us, make nervous and at whole that need a usual force to pass through the deepest darkness to find the source of light.

On 26^th of March 2014, skipping my classes, at the early evening, I went with my friends to Sharda University to play an open soccer tournament as invited by one of our brother and that very time, we don’t really have any plans to hold night, but somehow due to some circumstances, we were left with no choices and have to spend a night over our brother’s flat.

 The very night, everything happened so fast except a sleep.  No sooner had we reach the flat from the college than we had early dinner unlike in our place.  And shortly after dinner, there wasn't anything to do, so we all friend’s were engaged in playing cards for an hour and then went off to bed.

The very night, we make ourselves to go to bed early as there wasn't anything to do and playing card repeatedly was also boring, and moreover we were exhausted but our sleep was like a siesta; where after lightly closing my eyes, the single note music constantly disturb in my ear and moreover sucking blood everywhere over the body alarms constantly disturbing sleep. I tried rolling over bed turning right and left, looking up and facing down, covering up with blanket and sometimes trying to remove and of all like summer rain fall, the thoughts came rushing taking everywhere, even to those imaginations that I have never been too and moreover the feeling sleeping at other place is never homely.

After too much struggling, I quit trying and forcing myself to sleep, and then rewind back to a each says spoken an hour ago after a dinner when we got a little spare time, where I questioned three of them; HOW DO YOU FEEL AND WHAT DO YOU FEEL THE MOST HESITANT BEING ON OTHER’S HOUSE? And realize that each of them were giving a rightful views and says on the most common experience of everyone and I knew that every one face the same difficulties trying to adapt oneself and to me that was a simple challenge. You know, to get homely sleep at new place has been always hardest for me and it’s a simple challenge.

Later after five to ten minutes, while I was just trying to focus on thinking’s I heard a silent walking footsteps, as the room was so quiet (except the creaking sound of fan) and you know, what surprises the most at that time was, my friend kipchu who usually sleep at right time, who easily get doze off to sleep and who wake up on time, struggling to sleep like me coming over us, (my another friend chimi and me as we’re sleeping on one bed) asking for company and the very funniest thing was kipchu said that “ I knew you too would have been also struggling like me trying to catch sleep”  and yup no sooner, we sneaked out silently outside to the terrace to talk and spend time there until sleepiness over ride us, despite the hesitant. And after not even an hour we came back and then again went to bed, but the same situation, I wasn't really getting a sleep, the thoughts too start rushing as I start to sleep, the feeling never made me feel homely and additionally the mosquitoes that keep guarding whole night never made me sleep. 

By then it was almost midnight, but still there was no sleepiness.  I ask chimi to let us go back to terrace  again to talk, share stories and come back at around 2 am hoping by that time, we would get sleep. But he didn't listen and force himself to get to sleep, while kipchu and me sneaked out again back to terrace and even climb to the most top attic to enjoy the beauty of night, the beauty of sky and to cherish the magic of silence. 

We sat over the walls, talked and shared each other about the life, struggles, duty and mostly about the love relations and this took us too 4 am and then we went back to room and slept.

That very night was the longest night for the fight of sleep for both of us and that’s where I came to realize,  challenges are just in and around the corner and even in realm of within us.
             I guess, to catch sleep at some where new place like we sleep in home would be a simple challenge for many, though it might not be that crazy like us.

9 DAYS 9 MONTHS TO 13^th YEAR WITH SOCCER

Growing up, able to stand on the feet and walking away from crawling, as a child, many have number of crazy thoughts, a raw passion and green desire at those times to do infinite things despite being too young to understand things and when I look back from the time when we crawled, raised , grown up into this time ; those were the time where we really discover , groom our interest and what we really enjoy, what we really are happy with, and everyone vividly understand that things that got inspired, wanted to do in the childhood and those young  dreams have been always a bulls’ eye.

 I am also one of those crazy fellows, one of a millions whose childhood dreams and joy still blossom in heart and desperately want to do. Back to those years of 2002, when I was a naughty kid, when I even don’t know how to distinguish what I like and not, from the middle out of millions, I have chosen and always been a passionate footballer and still a dream to play and move forward become my simple pleasure even now as a men.

 I clearly cut out that, I don’t really have big dreams, big success like the great one’s but yup I definitely admit the truth that I have been always looking to write the journal of my story of getting grown, groomed  to a passionate soccer player.

………………..with the last bell, like from the peak of the academic building, packing everything, I would rush to the school soccer field with ball and that too, a ball knitted and produce from the wastes and all. And I would wait for my friends to turn up and we would always play a random game and those time, usually a person who can kick high as much as he can was really considered a big footballer to us and those time’s were really a fun, a days of crying too; where we fall down and scratch our knees, where we injured our leg and cry. Not that I was only interested in playing football but I was also lucky to get good ambiance for learning, an inspiration from my own dad, who has been always of one my football fan and my brother who would always join me in playing  as he was also one of a ‘dying fan of footballer’.

Its bit incongruity, usually kid’s sleep early and more time, but for me I watched late night soccer match with brother and dad, when my mommy has gone to sleep and it has been most of the time a usual thing for me and they very next day as soon as I woke up, I would certainly go with the ball, trying to do some tricks and dribble seen from the Television and it has been always that way.

In 2002, luckily I got to play a tournament of intra school match between primary school and that time, the feeling when we get to dress into a team jersey for the first time is awesome and on the top of the earth and it was just unforgettable, where it opened me the door to be a simple footballer and yup playing in the ground of crowd was yet exciting and nervous too, certainly one of the nostalgic moment of life.

By then as the year passes, everything started getting better and beautiful. Of all, my dad was also the one who inspired me totally into this field, where he always love to see my brother and me playing in the matches and usually whenever he go outside he would bring us football jersey, boots and all as a gift and it has been always the best days to see my dad cheering, inspiring and supporting and that very feeling when I get to see a dad cheering for us (brother and me) out of crowd in playing matches was so touching and beautiful and  in other hand that worry me was , my mommy never want to see us playing, as she worry too much, as she care so much and as she never stand to see us injured, scratches everywhere on the body and bleeding's  and came to understand only at this time upon remember her say “zag pa ma chang sho yeg pa ma nai, o mai football zong bhi ley na; which literally means to listen to her say and to understand how much mommy care.

With passing times, despite not too much skills, I was lucky enough to play as team In all most all school where I did my primary, lower, middle and higher schooling and yup definitely found a better way in developing and understanding the free skills and enjoyed playing number of matches and winning medals and cups too during those times.

By now it’s all most the 13 years of playing soccer and it has always been the best game of all to me and the part of thing which has never out grown from me and coming to India here, it has also been a best part of stuffs in football, where I get a chance to play with number of different people across the globe and luckily it get a real platform to develop new skills, discover weakness and implementing and learning to be a good footballer.

Looking back from the time 2002 to 2014 right now, playing football, learning football and teaching football has been always the joy that keeps growing green and having an appetite for football has always been inspiring in thousands and millions ways. It not only enhance the power of your skill, satisfy your joys, but It has been always the greatest opportunity in life to understand the number of people, an opportunity to open the door to show cast our self a good and passionate footballers and that train our mind and keep us healthy, Indeed 13 years of playing soccer gave thousand reason’s to be proud of being passionate footballer and my dream's will never out grown. 

                              

  "Playing football with feet is one thing, but playing football with heart is another." 

Bittersweet

“World so big and huge and we exist as a single entity like an atom packed in a single molecule. There are thousands of things that happened, happens and happening around us along the road of our moving life every day and night.”

This is a sort of messages to all the people around the globe, cause’ I am pretty sure of all this happenings to each of us and our wish toward this exact things. 

I don’t exactly remember why and how I choose over to scribble on this stuff, but yup it so happen today in the very early morning at around 3 am making myself busy over this piece, when everyone around me was drop to silent, dark and peaceful and indeed I know it has something so treasury for the world.

3 ante meridian in the morning, a sudden thoughts and feeling sprung up on why we really hate especially when the things are taken for granted? Usually, I sleep at late night and most of the time; I land up fighting over those feelings, suddenly that sore my neck over too much too much big head.

Let me take a story into account, you know when we’re child, back to those times when we’re almost stoned, where we don’t know what we’re exactly doing, what we really feel and other feel, most of the time, it happens to many , say for example on the birthday times when dad and mom gift the stuffs that are not of your taste, we do usually have a tendency to cry, nag, and get onto unbelievable acts. But we never know how much treasure it is for, indeed being child, we’re too young to understand over all those stuffs. But interestingly not only it happens during all those times, but even after getting grown up, getting a feeling, understanding the world; we never care sometimes over this stuff.

Believe me or not? But when things that it means to you so much with love and care, peace and joy , hard work and determination are taken for granted, it gives an excruciating pain and usually it vibrates inside us like hell and land up thinking why it has to be this way? Why he/she really can’t understand better? Or Am I so poor?  Making a hard pressure on oneself with such crazy thoughts that rushes like thousands times, with abnormally beating beats and panting. 

It was a sort of an answer that starts flickering in my mind, over the question not so long ago when this incident took place in the class. I don’t exactly remember when it happens, but yup it happened on one of unlucky Wednesday when I was submitting an assignment for IT practical. I really don’t know how to describe, but yup it was funny, irritating, and lot sort of mixed feeling sprung up when my teacher took her 5 to 10 minutes of time from class hour to check over our assignment, which took more than 1 to 2 days to for us to complete it browsing over net, researching and all. Not really to be taken into account of mine although I wrote it with passion and hard work. You know why? A hard working, dedicated, serious and simple guy of my same batch, has taken all his effort  whole of the week to write and complete to give into one of the finest assignment, but it was like a huge blow over his work looking at the teacher taking 5 minutes in checking 40 to 46 students assignment that too comprising of numbers of pages. And that was what I lately discover early morning why he really was pissed off?

 A short incident that I share was a sort of a minute level but in life, there are thousands of stuffs above this, equal or low happening like this and have you ever taken a minute of your time in life imagining and feeling how it would be when things are taken for granted? Anyway not to say much, for me it’s something acrimonious and bittersweet. Sometimes I am worried, in fear and already beating what if the most important person, the most important things in your life is taken simply for granted from you, Whatever you have build it with love, care, passion, joys and everything that cost. Sometimes, world is so cruel but might have the cemented reasons of explanations.

Leave fear off to live life

Crawling and fighting over the bygone days,

Reaching the status today,

Some of the things maybe murky

Appearing so dusty,

As the thing you dream and wished,

May not have been achieved,

And may have been destroyed

But never leave and give up so easily,

For thy reason of saturation and weakness

Just as the things may not seem easy as you look

‘Cause in life things aren't that simple to see brilliant colors,

If you think narrower and smaller

So just remember to walk further,

Swim little deeper and keep moving

Fight with no words left to put things off,

No matter how much you suffer,

With countless running tears

After all life is the simple journey,

With so much of tourney,

In the road of hills and valleys,

So reasonably and thoughtfully

Believe in yourself and your power

Everything is just the theme of it,

When story begins and comes by, until it ends.