Late afternoon call.

                Like every usual day for me,one Sunday i was sleeping deep on the bed till afternoon, and yap that too i woke up only after mommy called me. When i share all this stuffs, It doesn't mean that I find most of my days in college sleeping, but there is no choice usually in hot summer days, where we can't get outside like other normal days even if want to, where we can't refresh by playing's, going for walk until the evening swallow the day and moreover these days as we are in sort of holiday for the semester exam preparation most of the time, there is nothing to do, so we find time usually sleeping to save boredom and summer heat of India.

Late afternoon, i heard a buzzing bees like sound on my table, time and again and in half sleep i woke up to check and it was a call from my mommy. Suddenly, then i rub my eyes, clear throat to pretend that i was not sleeping till at this time as mommy will definitely feel bad, but as i picked up my phones, mommy knew it that i was just waking up, as usually when we just wake up, our hoarse voice just appear and disclose the truth.  and then she scolded me saying "cheychey,why are you sleeping till late after noon? and i guess you're still sleeping like the way you use to do when you are at home, grow up chey chey with a pause."  then i was smiling drowsily and answered with lies to escape and not to let mommy worries as she most of the time land up worrying, tensing for us. After that, like usual, we find our conversation where by; She always ask me how i am doing? how is my studies going on? how is my health and how is the status of everything in all around and we hanged our phone and by then my sleepiness has already gone but still then i lied down on the bed to get rid of those laziness and the very time, a particular thought sprung up in my mind and i realize one thing. and it's damn true to each and everyone of us.
You know most of the time, we land up pretending, neglecting without getting up and putting our selves into their position, until and unless as time show upon us and make us realize. Obviously i am pretty sure that, not only me, most of the people around the world would find through word to defend everything what they love and what they care. Everyone of us, we do have much to say on thing's we love and care, people we love and care, because simply there is a huge feeling of attachment and love, that's why we never wanted our thing and people to fall down, we always want to look better, best and as we expected, that's why we always have unending says.
Yap sometimes to us, it sounds as complain, scolding and being strict and i don't disregard too, after all it's true to all spring chickens in the world. But until and unless as time come for everyone of us to realize and stop escaping away through lies.
You'll a discover a real meaning out of it.
See, if we really look into with deep focus, you know, like everyone we have a unending words coming inside our mind, crazy feeling in our heart and that's why, we can't stand on seeing what we love and care in wrong positions and as what we expected.
That's why every mom in the world in one way or other way,  they know they're mother and they do always have a responsibility to make their own child better with love and care. That's why be it scolding or advice, harsh or strict, complain or say,  if we really take into greater account, every word that spoke to us is single wisdom for a day to become better human being.
Thus reasonably, we need to understand that, for each and every person to whom we have feeling call love and care,  we always much unending says and complains, 'cause we want the best out of them.

                                         

"definition of the perfect beauty"
looking back from all those time when i was in love( 13-1-2013)to each and every moment i spend, i got million reasons to explain that "love can fight all war" 
a message of dedication to my love that defines my life.

She discovered my real dream.
Indeed, she is an angel that never make me despair a single moment.
Not even day, no matter how harsh.
She not only ease the living days,
But she totally changed the way how i think,

How I look things into

and how i understand the world.

She got to understand that; 

She is the only gift in my life that i am so lucky of,

Who would blow away the harshness.

And give the chance to feel stronger,

Stronger that can stand tall in all times,

No matter how harsh,

No matter how devastating.

Falling in love madly,

Each and every crazy moments

You taught me that:

It’s not necessary to be strong

But to feel strong with brave heart that never quiver.

And  heart that will never quit what you crave for.

You're  my number one,

You're  meaning to a word "perfect" for me.

  Otiose college days. 
( every coming day, it started always the same, waking up late, sleeping late, embracing my inner bird in this way, like there is no time for sleep the very next dawn.)                     

 In the half sleep rubbed my eyes,

Scratched porcupine like hairs fuzzily

And get up most days lazily,

Yet, on the bed several times sways.

With dawn moving away.

The usual day begins in the middle,

When everyone is half way bridged for day.

And it’s been always that way.

The day of all my lazy times

That never sublime.

            No matter how dark, light will always find through.              

   "The hard days, the struggling time has shown to us since a month ago and still it has never leave us from the feet, although not a hard work that involve strength to carry the heavy loads on the uphill sweating, but the stuffs associated with the feelings and mind is a total devastating at a time, when nothing get well and better, when nothing get changes, after every awaited time,waking up every morning with the new hopes."

I really don't know from when it began, when it started making us face hardship and see the frightful challenges, but yup it's been a real hard days at a time for a more than a month, however, we came by without losing hope, never getting devastated, never falling down when a situations keep us pulling and never failing being one, one as united and standing tall in this horrible situations , but still it's been always the same every morning and it's been one of the most awaited time for us.

I don't know, how my buddies replied and will reply, to the most asked question of every day, every time; how is everything? and yup i don't know too how they will describe, if asked to write " a living situation over a month till now"
To this very questions upon every greetings in the university with friends, senior, junior,teacher all around, the definite answer my mouth open to is , ya!i am doing great, trying with a hope inside and to look as if like moving better, but every night when i am about to doze off to sleep and looking back from the time i wake up till to time when i am about to sleep, i get myself question, am i really doing great as i answer always and came to discover that, it's never a been a great day for a month  but yap a good day to be better coined as. it's been almost all the day, a sort of lie i am living with myself and fighting hard to get start well.

To the very next question, it would be a little harder for me. because' in one way, i feel totally impressed, motivated and always standing with a hope along with my cheerful buddies and in another way, if i come by truth, a "broken" as word flash in my mind instinctively.
For this very long time, without never getting devastated, without even complaining, how much ever we're broken, we didn't give up. It's been a real hard time for us, more like we have missed a rain for thousand years, like we're totally dehydrated. But not even once, we felt despaired. because we know there is always a choice, there is always two sides to choose to fight for 2 quarts belly and for living and yup i realize lately that living as it sound simple, but it's not that as it look. it's every day a challenge that arrives to test us. In this span of time, i get to learn a lot, i got inspired and motivated myself, we as a friend didn't give up on none of us, rather we keep supporting each other, none of us tormented with a situation. Sometime's what we really need to keep moving is, we need to forget every bad thing's of a day, and to remember and cherish with a every best thing that happens, after all, life itself is a challenge and we never should loss our moment of time tormenting and getting devastated.

I  choose not to disclose what really 'hardship' is, and what we're struggling from, as i feel it's not really a good idea that i am thinking of, as i have number of reason's, reasons of reasons to explain and feel blessed how much distance and time we traveled together unanimously, because it's a hard thing, one of the hardest in the world to get people together mostly in the hard times.
Forget praising our selves, because we have much reasons to feel proud of. a reason, how we came through, a longest struggle in the broken time's without getting despair.
Still it is same over the past month, attending classes, struggling of our "hardship" which i choose not to disclose, and hoping each and every morning to get well and better, and in deed, i am never gonna feel so poor, so devastated, though a situation is because there are a huge reasons to fight for with numbers of my friends doing the same each day and night fighting for living and breathing.
Yup, i will wait standing tall, i will get up each morning strong, until god answer us for thy to every questions and struggle in life, there is a way to get through and to every sadness, there is a music that will sooth.

        She is the only one.

She smile gloriously in all times

Like a never fading memory.

So big an inspirational and energetic it is,

It gives me infinite blessing to keep moving.

She lean her cheek upon her hand,

Peacefully and lightly

So bright and cutely she shows,

It Saves day light for me, whenever I miss when it clouded,

Her peaceful eye's like blossoming lotus,

Unimaginably true make me feel so safe and take me to those beautiful future that I have never imagine,

Yet her hair falls down through cheek so flawlessly without her touch

Giving birth to glorious heaven in a imperfect world,

She is of all, whom I crave for out of millions,

She is and always will be my number one no matter what.

                                 Simple challenge; the sleepless night

Do we ever imagine within realm of on us, we’re also counted to be a challenge to one self?  Challenges are not always that comes by road, that usually fear us, make nervous and at whole that need a usual force to pass through the deepest darkness to find the source of light.

On 26^th of March 2014, skipping my classes, at the early evening, I went with my friends to Sharda University to play an open soccer tournament as invited by one of our brother and that very time, we don’t really have any plans to hold night, but somehow due to some circumstances, we were left with no choices and have to spend a night over our brother’s flat.

 The very night, everything happened so fast except a sleep.  No sooner had we reach the flat from the college than we had early dinner unlike in our place.  And shortly after dinner, there wasn't anything to do, so we all friend’s were engaged in playing cards for an hour and then went off to bed.

The very night, we make ourselves to go to bed early as there wasn't anything to do and playing card repeatedly was also boring, and moreover we were exhausted but our sleep was like a siesta; where after lightly closing my eyes, the single note music constantly disturb in my ear and moreover sucking blood everywhere over the body alarms constantly disturbing sleep. I tried rolling over bed turning right and left, looking up and facing down, covering up with blanket and sometimes trying to remove and of all like summer rain fall, the thoughts came rushing taking everywhere, even to those imaginations that I have never been too and moreover the feeling sleeping at other place is never homely.

After too much struggling, I quit trying and forcing myself to sleep, and then rewind back to a each says spoken an hour ago after a dinner when we got a little spare time, where I questioned three of them; HOW DO YOU FEEL AND WHAT DO YOU FEEL THE MOST HESITANT BEING ON OTHER’S HOUSE? And realize that each of them were giving a rightful views and says on the most common experience of everyone and I knew that every one face the same difficulties trying to adapt oneself and to me that was a simple challenge. You know, to get homely sleep at new place has been always hardest for me and it’s a simple challenge.

Later after five to ten minutes, while I was just trying to focus on thinking’s I heard a silent walking footsteps, as the room was so quiet (except the creaking sound of fan) and you know, what surprises the most at that time was, my friend kipchu who usually sleep at right time, who easily get doze off to sleep and who wake up on time, struggling to sleep like me coming over us, (my another friend chimi and me as we’re sleeping on one bed) asking for company and the very funniest thing was kipchu said that “ I knew you too would have been also struggling like me trying to catch sleep”  and yup no sooner, we sneaked out silently outside to the terrace to talk and spend time there until sleepiness over ride us, despite the hesitant. And after not even an hour we came back and then again went to bed, but the same situation, I wasn't really getting a sleep, the thoughts too start rushing as I start to sleep, the feeling never made me feel homely and additionally the mosquitoes that keep guarding whole night never made me sleep. 

By then it was almost midnight, but still there was no sleepiness.  I ask chimi to let us go back to terrace  again to talk, share stories and come back at around 2 am hoping by that time, we would get sleep. But he didn't listen and force himself to get to sleep, while kipchu and me sneaked out again back to terrace and even climb to the most top attic to enjoy the beauty of night, the beauty of sky and to cherish the magic of silence. 

We sat over the walls, talked and shared each other about the life, struggles, duty and mostly about the love relations and this took us too 4 am and then we went back to room and slept.

That very night was the longest night for the fight of sleep for both of us and that’s where I came to realize,  challenges are just in and around the corner and even in realm of within us.
             I guess, to catch sleep at some where new place like we sleep in home would be a simple challenge for many, though it might not be that crazy like us.

9 DAYS 9 MONTHS TO 13^th YEAR WITH SOCCER

Growing up, able to stand on the feet and walking away from crawling, as a child, many have number of crazy thoughts, a raw passion and green desire at those times to do infinite things despite being too young to understand things and when I look back from the time when we crawled, raised , grown up into this time ; those were the time where we really discover , groom our interest and what we really enjoy, what we really are happy with, and everyone vividly understand that things that got inspired, wanted to do in the childhood and those young  dreams have been always a bulls’ eye.

 I am also one of those crazy fellows, one of a millions whose childhood dreams and joy still blossom in heart and desperately want to do. Back to those years of 2002, when I was a naughty kid, when I even don’t know how to distinguish what I like and not, from the middle out of millions, I have chosen and always been a passionate footballer and still a dream to play and move forward become my simple pleasure even now as a men.

 I clearly cut out that, I don’t really have big dreams, big success like the great one’s but yup I definitely admit the truth that I have been always looking to write the journal of my story of getting grown, groomed  to a passionate soccer player.

………………..with the last bell, like from the peak of the academic building, packing everything, I would rush to the school soccer field with ball and that too, a ball knitted and produce from the wastes and all. And I would wait for my friends to turn up and we would always play a random game and those time, usually a person who can kick high as much as he can was really considered a big footballer to us and those time’s were really a fun, a days of crying too; where we fall down and scratch our knees, where we injured our leg and cry. Not that I was only interested in playing football but I was also lucky to get good ambiance for learning, an inspiration from my own dad, who has been always of one my football fan and my brother who would always join me in playing  as he was also one of a ‘dying fan of footballer’.

Its bit incongruity, usually kid’s sleep early and more time, but for me I watched late night soccer match with brother and dad, when my mommy has gone to sleep and it has been most of the time a usual thing for me and they very next day as soon as I woke up, I would certainly go with the ball, trying to do some tricks and dribble seen from the Television and it has been always that way.

In 2002, luckily I got to play a tournament of intra school match between primary school and that time, the feeling when we get to dress into a team jersey for the first time is awesome and on the top of the earth and it was just unforgettable, where it opened me the door to be a simple footballer and yup playing in the ground of crowd was yet exciting and nervous too, certainly one of the nostalgic moment of life.

By then as the year passes, everything started getting better and beautiful. Of all, my dad was also the one who inspired me totally into this field, where he always love to see my brother and me playing in the matches and usually whenever he go outside he would bring us football jersey, boots and all as a gift and it has been always the best days to see my dad cheering, inspiring and supporting and that very feeling when I get to see a dad cheering for us (brother and me) out of crowd in playing matches was so touching and beautiful and  in other hand that worry me was , my mommy never want to see us playing, as she worry too much, as she care so much and as she never stand to see us injured, scratches everywhere on the body and bleeding's  and came to understand only at this time upon remember her say “zag pa ma chang sho yeg pa ma nai, o mai football zong bhi ley na; which literally means to listen to her say and to understand how much mommy care.

With passing times, despite not too much skills, I was lucky enough to play as team In all most all school where I did my primary, lower, middle and higher schooling and yup definitely found a better way in developing and understanding the free skills and enjoyed playing number of matches and winning medals and cups too during those times.

By now it’s all most the 13 years of playing soccer and it has always been the best game of all to me and the part of thing which has never out grown from me and coming to India here, it has also been a best part of stuffs in football, where I get a chance to play with number of different people across the globe and luckily it get a real platform to develop new skills, discover weakness and implementing and learning to be a good footballer.

Looking back from the time 2002 to 2014 right now, playing football, learning football and teaching football has been always the joy that keeps growing green and having an appetite for football has always been inspiring in thousands and millions ways. It not only enhance the power of your skill, satisfy your joys, but It has been always the greatest opportunity in life to understand the number of people, an opportunity to open the door to show cast our self a good and passionate footballers and that train our mind and keep us healthy, Indeed 13 years of playing soccer gave thousand reason’s to be proud of being passionate footballer and my dream's will never out grown. 

                              

  "Playing football with feet is one thing, but playing football with heart is another."