COLD THIRST.

5 AM, cold winter morning!

When my alarm reverberate to the loudest,

I found myself panting to catch the sufficient volume of cold air,

With the wrestling thoughts of dream in my head

When I first open my eyes from sleep.

There, I was sweating.

With random dream of struggling.

She was a subject of my war.

War irrespective of the daylight and dark.

Indeed, her sum find my all days that come.

Subsequent dream that I fought,

Thrust even my 5 AM pure thought.

She has found me even through the breath,

Extending to the widest of breadth,

An expanse of niche i live, she became my air.

Early 5 AM morning,

Alarm buzzed,

There like antelope riding, dream inflicted suffer of massive loneliness,

Added with sweet urgent miss,

With all those dream to wake up by her side each successive morning.

Even a dream she haunted!!!

Uncertainty

Yesterday, deep azure sky flourish,

Amidst golden yellow sun glitter,

Bluish ocean reflects prismatic-ally via whole medium,

Yet those whispering wind flatter flags wonderfully

Air was so much filled with rhythmic melody huge than skyscraper

A realm brimmed with out most joys.

Today deep dark sky over rule,

Thick blanket of cumulus shadowing dark,

Thundered rain disturbed calmest ocean,

Neither music do justice to the cold air,

Nor warmest tulip do help to the coldest heart,

So less was bouyancy, sinking with gravity,

A realm flooded with abyss sorrows.

So many thing has happened,

Time has move so fast,

Faster than those blinks of my eye.

A mother tree perished,

and her seed made forest,

A little girl i saw by roadside has turn into beautiful woman

And a beautiful lady i know has wrinkled.

Time has moved so fast,

That my bone even started to ache.

Map to heart.

Unburdened smiles like the searing sunset,

Dazzling eyes like the flawless moon,

Sweetness of tang like lily,

Voice like honey,

Colour buoyed clouds with golden brilliance,

Beautifying the primordial sky,

Intoxicating whole of lying vale,

With tides of pulsating songs of joy In the air,

Nobody has find me more than this,

Neither sky nor earth.

Neither sun nor moon.

Everything was a trouble in air 

All was knitted thread of infinite,

Like woven silence of women.

Until all those sum of parts she share,
Drew a map to my heart.

Sweetest pain

An another story,

Story of a men who found letting go so hard.

Those weary naked eyes,

Clench of knot in belly,

Wrestling battle in chamber of love

I could exactly picture as those words meet my eye.

“With those glaring eyes,

Wearing a beautiful smiles,

She watched me so close and keenly into my eyes hugging tight.

Those sweet lips unravel her deepest feeling;

Promising thousands,

Speaking millions of dreams,

And disclosing how much i mean to her.

Like there was no tomorrow in her future.

I still have those rhythm of beat when it drum against my chest,

I still hear those gasp of relieve she breath when her head fall on my shoulder.

How beautiful it was,  is never same today.

Sky has started darkening,

Weather has started worsening,

Things has started fading slowly,

For my lips are blue,

And my lamp inside gets dimmer,

I am young but I feel so  old.

I didn’t see this future until now when thing’s are never same.

It was beautiful but never same today.

Everything that kept me float, drown me.

Everything that kept me alive, consume me.

Sweetest pain has fed me multiple times,

And I am dying old inside with the smile she always asked for.

And only if thirteen comes again, a flame would burn as sweet as the pain i am engaged.”

Prayers and sympathy for Paris.

Moon has already chased the sun, night has become darker  and world dropped to silence even fading the sounds of busiest chirping crickets, barking dog and loaded trucks. It was yesterday- a Friday night  and usually during the start of weekend holiday I never sleep early and even if I try, my sleep would have flee far away. My energy would be at the maximum that would even sustained till dawn break and like usual I was browsing over net, playing internet games, chatting, reading article  and by then it was already midnight when I had my supper with my friend.

After our midnight dinner, instead of sleeping we locked our door and went to our friends room which Is in the next block building to watch international football match. You know, we never miss watching important football matches even if it’s during our exam time and if there is football match  just like yesterday in weekends when holiday just start, it would be one of the luckiest and cherishing night for us. There was series of international matches in swing happening simultaneously ( SPAIN VS ENGLAND, GERMANY VS FRANCE, WALES VS HOLLAND, BELGIUM VS ITALY etc) where we were bit stuck in the middle choosing which country match to watch, and finally we landed up watching Spain vs England and Germany vs France simultaneously as there 15 minutes differences in the starting time.

As usual the crowd was huge,  fans shouting to the peak of their voice with excitements,  drums every where accompanied with blowing horns in stadium and on other side of world ,three of us like three musketeer was cheering up in the middle of night even if we were watching the match on laptop struggling over timely fluctuating net.  The game passed so long without conceding any goals,  and yeah crowd was still cheering huge and three of us was also  watching and  simultaneously talking about the previous day match when our country lost to china with huge differences(12-0).

By around 4 am in the morning (Saturday) the match got over with ( Spain 2-England 0, France 2-Germany 0)  and yeah two of us came back to our room to sleep as it was already late.  By then like after 20 to 30 minutes, my friend showed me on the Instagram picture which title “BESTOFFOOTBALL” with stadium full of fans, and caption reading “ our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Paris . Many people have been shot around Paris and big hostage situation.  People that saw the match France-Germany stay in stadium for safety reasons.”   Seriously, I couldn’t believe for a once that world is so much a unsafe place to survive and live. I couldn’t believe my eyes that I read those lines after just seeing those huge crowds in huge excitements couple minutes ago.

Suddenly after I saw that picture on the Instagram, I browsed over chrome on BBC to check what really has happened. And to my dismay i saw huge bold on the page  “ PARIS ATTACK- BATACLAN and other assaults leave many dead.”   Where 80 people were killed, 180 leaving injured after gunmen stormed into Bataclan concert hall which was one of the deadliest  of Friday night attack and three of gunmen was also already dead after they have blown themselves up and one shot dead by police after security forces stormed inside the concert hall.

The picture of stadium filled with fans who watched a match was accompanied by president and other spectators and was one of the target for those attackers. and it was witnessed after two explosion and three gunmen were shot dead on spot. That's why all of them were caged in the stadium for the safety reasons.  

After reading all of those news, i couldn't sleep and i was bit disturbed thinking world is still a unsafe place to survive and live among people and people also. i was disturbed seeing those huge crowds in panics and cries which i saw them in huge excitement 20 minutes earlier . 

I pay my sympathy and prayers to all those people in Paris and may happiness find a way through soon as usual. 

Tribute to my king.

Stories as it narrates;

Songs of joys sung loud to the peak,

Prayers reaching to entire,

Excitements flourishing richly in each heart,

Unraveling through the sweetest of expressions,

Unfolding the most skilled of the art,

With the genuine of toil.

My eyeball were amazed,

With kiss on the ceiling of my head,

And sweetness in the wall of heart,

As I watch through beautiful window from an old chair,

Watching beautiful tributes on his Majesties 60th Birthday Anniversary .

An art of impulses and beat on my plate.

Born upon seeing millions of homage to the almighty,

And yet Gave a vivid picture of motherland in extreme joys,

Even through the lens from far away land.

It made me miss the heaven in motherland on this momentous occasion;

A day when a hero was born and peace was showered,

A day when nation was blessed with unconditional happiness,

A day when harsh fade and heaven born with his love.

A day when all new beginning of spring sprung.

My words won’t reach to altitude of your true leadership,

Just like subject of extraordinary that can’t be describe,

Still then, I pay my homage on this significant day with words from abyss of my heart.

My almighty;

You’re an epitome for thousands of generation,

Stories of huge inspiration and light,

North star to thousand of lost souls,

Reason of smile those who’ve forgotten,

Weapon of unity to all,

 I Salute you for all that made me see a 'heaven' on this earth in our nation.

Human and life.

Navigating from the time when you’re born and raised, through the boat you’ve voyage so long in the vast ocean has so big to tell but most of us keep moving most of the time without even giving a single stop to think on the daily life activities. Once one cold freezing night, like of those usual sleepless night when my eyelids took full control of my eyes, when body metabolically active, when whole of thoughts thundered and rumble in my head, unlike other night going through whole expanse of imaginations through the greatest distance mind travel it offered me a good time with a chance to think about the life we live from the time when we born and raised.

 The followings are few thoughts among many which i wrote here according to my experiences and the perspective on life which many of us live;

Love, life and people

Many among millions must have gone through or even if they hadn’t they must have witnessed at least.  You know, in our life as we grow up, as life take us to different places we meet so many people either of our kind or different. What is the funniest and strangest thing that I have noticed, experienced and seen is, how people that we use to know, those people who have been so much to you, so close to you turning into strangers sometimes so easily in short span of time.  An example, love is in air everywhere and one way or other, everybody of us even if we are of strongest kind is in need of love, care and affection with the whole burning of desire inside us which make us to search for love intentionally or unintentionally.  When we fall for love, when we find soft corner for the person, in the beginning it started with all those ties of dreams, hopes, wishes, and promises like we could even give up whole of ourselves to the people that we love, but as day turn into week, week into months and years, naturally problems, barriers, challenges comes on our way which sometime completely ruin the relation due to so much of expectation or due to different qualities that one can’t accept for each other, and it happens in most cases which started with hurts, betrayal, sadness and all. All of this is perfectly fine, because we can’t deny the truth of life being series of battles that testify us each coming days, but what is unbelievable and strange is, how those people who has known from tip of hair to tip of nails, who has share hundreds days of happiness and joys turning easily into complete foes in short time after all problems in life.

It look so strange and funny to me because obstacles and problems has nothing to do and ruin the entire thing if everyone of us don’t give a way ,after all the problems and life is normal.

So have you ever thought of why all this things turns out so bad? I think it turns so bad unbelievably, because of human and self associated problems of ego and the demon that everyone has inside. Such is a strange life sometimes going on in this beautiful world.

Life and game.

There are millions of things we encounter in our daily life and among all; troubles, struggles and battles is one that arises anywhere at any time in all the time that comes, irrespective of any status and situation. So the question is how you have been dealing with this entire situation, when sometimes lives don’t treat fairly or either when life finds us through wrong times.   Adrenaline rush, head breaking thoughts, heavy worries and all sort of negatives vibes right! I know, most of us are subjected or either made like this to react when suddenly troubles find us through our day to day life.  Here is the undeniable truth; unnecessarily reacting and letting ourselves go through worries, tension and heavy thoughts even through the normal life struggles.   Unnecessarily holding things and pressurizing within one making inner peace flee through those things which we have to let go.  Waiting so much for the entire good thing to happen when we know we have to put our energy to achieve.  Such as this, there are so many in lists which one way or other way we struggle ourselves; making ourselves our own troubles. So there is no way we can expect to solve problems, to expect for good when we ourselves make more complicated.

In life, there is so much and more to endure, there is lot of times that we should be ready ourselves and focused to battle any kind of situation without worrying too much, and yeah learning to let things go off which are mean to, because have you ever notice yourself, you know where we faced this thousand kind of situations but still we are the same individual with same thoughts but expecting good things to happen. So basically we should learn to adapt, we should learn to battle in the best way with all the positive thoughts, because all this series of battles through the meandering course just is temporary as our life which just came to test us and it’s normal.

Wishes and realizations

When do we realize most of the time?  According to me, many of us realize when worst started appearing and when our situations become stagnant and worsen. What do we do basically after all this realizations is start wishing foolishly when we know nothing can change? An anecdote from my life at college, a similar story everyone would have in some point of life.  Most of the time, my college days begin waking up early morning, then attending usual lectures, and finally coming back to room and either playing football or watching movies or busy with some social sites.  This same schedules follow almost throughout the whole semester and at the end when exam arrive on the door, i would land up struggling burning midnight oil, which would be much easier if i have given a quality of time from the beginning and as a result i would land up getting exhausted unnecessarily, would land up giving tough time to myself, and wishing if i have a little more time to study good and well.

In life, in many cases to many of us we do almost all the same thing everywhere at anytime even if we are alarmed of the future, even if we have dreams by living the life of mediocrity and finally landing up realizing when the worst start appearing.    There is so many thing in life where we land up realizing lately; realization of short of time when it’s all finish, realization of love and care when it’s far gone, realization of missing happy home when you go through struggles and thousand more that make us realize each coming day making us wish more and landing up getting devastated at the end when nothing get change which we could have done before if we are little serious of life. 

So basically I think giving ourselves a time to do what we are suppose to do would make life so much easier without having to realize when everything is at stagnant, but it’s a life most of us live in number of days in our life in  this modern society which ultimately lead us to worst time.