REALIZATION

Its been heavy hours since from the beginning of my final exam when i was glued on my old chair, when i was jailed up in four walls with piles of book for so less time that i have got. 

During this stages of cycle my system was fully acclimatized to waking up early without alarm, sleeping late night burning midnight oil, in fact situation was "so many book for so less time" and i did swallowed all the circumstances of massive pitfalls with all the fuel i got, since i have let most of my available time slip like time can regrow. 

Did you ever ask yourself why things are not abundantly rich at a time? like somehow, somewhere there is a pitfalls. Like when you're distanced, you started missing home. Like when winter come, you started missing summer, when you fail you start regretting like if i have tried little, like i do when i have so less time for my book.

Here is the reality; iterative mediocrity when meet the life, question get solved.

Thousand among millions of us, we insufficiently value when everything is richly blossom around us like conditioned and automated machines where our plates are adapted to the normal life situation of wasting time unnecessarily, taking things for granted and hundred more in the list.

What if we really deal with life? Have you ever once gave a thought beyond your normal thinking brain when you're normal? Have you've ever valued a cup of water when you're hydrated or a bowl of rice when your belly is filled?  Rarely we does.

With my final paper approaching tomorrow, after appearing 4 papers of like thousands of pages, studying about million of drug, bells in my head reverberated louder than usual in totally exhausted body and came to the point of why we actually are not abundantly blessed with wealth of life.

If you avoid life, you'll never understand that:  obstacles are normal series of battle in life to door of abundance harmony.

COLD THIRST.

5 AM, cold winter morning!

When my alarm reverberate to the loudest,

I found myself panting to catch the sufficient volume of cold air,

With the wrestling thoughts of dream in my head

When I first open my eyes from sleep.

There, I was sweating.

With random dream of struggling.

She was a subject of my war.

War irrespective of the daylight and dark.

Indeed, her sum find my all days that come.

Subsequent dream that I fought,

Thrust even my 5 AM pure thought.

She has found me even through the breath,

Extending to the widest of breadth,

An expanse of niche i live, she became my air.

Early 5 AM morning,

Alarm buzzed,

There like antelope riding, dream inflicted suffer of massive loneliness,

Added with sweet urgent miss,

With all those dream to wake up by her side each successive morning.

Even a dream she haunted!!!

Uncertainty

Yesterday, deep azure sky flourish,

Amidst golden yellow sun glitter,

Bluish ocean reflects prismatic-ally via whole medium,

Yet those whispering wind flatter flags wonderfully

Air was so much filled with rhythmic melody huge than skyscraper

A realm brimmed with out most joys.

Today deep dark sky over rule,

Thick blanket of cumulus shadowing dark,

Thundered rain disturbed calmest ocean,

Neither music do justice to the cold air,

Nor warmest tulip do help to the coldest heart,

So less was bouyancy, sinking with gravity,

A realm flooded with abyss sorrows.

So many thing has happened,

Time has move so fast,

Faster than those blinks of my eye.

A mother tree perished,

and her seed made forest,

A little girl i saw by roadside has turn into beautiful woman

And a beautiful lady i know has wrinkled.

Time has moved so fast,

That my bone even started to ache.

Map to heart.

Unburdened smiles like the searing sunset,

Dazzling eyes like the flawless moon,

Sweetness of tang like lily,

Voice like honey,

Colour buoyed clouds with golden brilliance,

Beautifying the primordial sky,

Intoxicating whole of lying vale,

With tides of pulsating songs of joy In the air,

Nobody has find me more than this,

Neither sky nor earth.

Neither sun nor moon.

Everything was a trouble in air 

All was knitted thread of infinite,

Like woven silence of women.

Until all those sum of parts she share,
Drew a map to my heart.

Sweetest pain

An another story,

Story of a men who found letting go so hard.

Those weary naked eyes,

Clench of knot in belly,

Wrestling battle in chamber of love

I could exactly picture as those words meet my eye.

“With those glaring eyes,

Wearing a beautiful smiles,

She watched me so close and keenly into my eyes hugging tight.

Those sweet lips unravel her deepest feeling;

Promising thousands,

Speaking millions of dreams,

And disclosing how much i mean to her.

Like there was no tomorrow in her future.

I still have those rhythm of beat when it drum against my chest,

I still hear those gasp of relieve she breath when her head fall on my shoulder.

How beautiful it was,  is never same today.

Sky has started darkening,

Weather has started worsening,

Things has started fading slowly,

For my lips are blue,

And my lamp inside gets dimmer,

I am young but I feel so  old.

I didn’t see this future until now when thing’s are never same.

It was beautiful but never same today.

Everything that kept me float, drown me.

Everything that kept me alive, consume me.

Sweetest pain has fed me multiple times,

And I am dying old inside with the smile she always asked for.

And only if thirteen comes again, a flame would burn as sweet as the pain i am engaged.”

Prayers and sympathy for Paris.

Moon has already chased the sun, night has become darker  and world dropped to silence even fading the sounds of busiest chirping crickets, barking dog and loaded trucks. It was yesterday- a Friday night  and usually during the start of weekend holiday I never sleep early and even if I try, my sleep would have flee far away. My energy would be at the maximum that would even sustained till dawn break and like usual I was browsing over net, playing internet games, chatting, reading article  and by then it was already midnight when I had my supper with my friend.

After our midnight dinner, instead of sleeping we locked our door and went to our friends room which Is in the next block building to watch international football match. You know, we never miss watching important football matches even if it’s during our exam time and if there is football match  just like yesterday in weekends when holiday just start, it would be one of the luckiest and cherishing night for us. There was series of international matches in swing happening simultaneously ( SPAIN VS ENGLAND, GERMANY VS FRANCE, WALES VS HOLLAND, BELGIUM VS ITALY etc) where we were bit stuck in the middle choosing which country match to watch, and finally we landed up watching Spain vs England and Germany vs France simultaneously as there 15 minutes differences in the starting time.

As usual the crowd was huge,  fans shouting to the peak of their voice with excitements,  drums every where accompanied with blowing horns in stadium and on other side of world ,three of us like three musketeer was cheering up in the middle of night even if we were watching the match on laptop struggling over timely fluctuating net.  The game passed so long without conceding any goals,  and yeah crowd was still cheering huge and three of us was also  watching and  simultaneously talking about the previous day match when our country lost to china with huge differences(12-0).

By around 4 am in the morning (Saturday) the match got over with ( Spain 2-England 0, France 2-Germany 0)  and yeah two of us came back to our room to sleep as it was already late.  By then like after 20 to 30 minutes, my friend showed me on the Instagram picture which title “BESTOFFOOTBALL” with stadium full of fans, and caption reading “ our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in Paris . Many people have been shot around Paris and big hostage situation.  People that saw the match France-Germany stay in stadium for safety reasons.”   Seriously, I couldn’t believe for a once that world is so much a unsafe place to survive and live. I couldn’t believe my eyes that I read those lines after just seeing those huge crowds in huge excitements couple minutes ago.

Suddenly after I saw that picture on the Instagram, I browsed over chrome on BBC to check what really has happened. And to my dismay i saw huge bold on the page  “ PARIS ATTACK- BATACLAN and other assaults leave many dead.”   Where 80 people were killed, 180 leaving injured after gunmen stormed into Bataclan concert hall which was one of the deadliest  of Friday night attack and three of gunmen was also already dead after they have blown themselves up and one shot dead by police after security forces stormed inside the concert hall.

The picture of stadium filled with fans who watched a match was accompanied by president and other spectators and was one of the target for those attackers. and it was witnessed after two explosion and three gunmen were shot dead on spot. That's why all of them were caged in the stadium for the safety reasons.  

After reading all of those news, i couldn't sleep and i was bit disturbed thinking world is still a unsafe place to survive and live among people and people also. i was disturbed seeing those huge crowds in panics and cries which i saw them in huge excitement 20 minutes earlier . 

I pay my sympathy and prayers to all those people in Paris and may happiness find a way through soon as usual. 

Tribute to my king.

Stories as it narrates;

Songs of joys sung loud to the peak,

Prayers reaching to entire,

Excitements flourishing richly in each heart,

Unraveling through the sweetest of expressions,

Unfolding the most skilled of the art,

With the genuine of toil.

My eyeball were amazed,

With kiss on the ceiling of my head,

And sweetness in the wall of heart,

As I watch through beautiful window from an old chair,

Watching beautiful tributes on his Majesties 60th Birthday Anniversary .

An art of impulses and beat on my plate.

Born upon seeing millions of homage to the almighty,

And yet Gave a vivid picture of motherland in extreme joys,

Even through the lens from far away land.

It made me miss the heaven in motherland on this momentous occasion;

A day when a hero was born and peace was showered,

A day when nation was blessed with unconditional happiness,

A day when harsh fade and heaven born with his love.

A day when all new beginning of spring sprung.

My words won’t reach to altitude of your true leadership,

Just like subject of extraordinary that can’t be describe,

Still then, I pay my homage on this significant day with words from abyss of my heart.

My almighty;

You’re an epitome for thousands of generation,

Stories of huge inspiration and light,

North star to thousand of lost souls,

Reason of smile those who’ve forgotten,

Weapon of unity to all,

 I Salute you for all that made me see a 'heaven' on this earth in our nation.